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Now Here, Nowhere

by Ariel Joseph

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1.
Midnight pollution of thought makes you Dream that you’re lost No more sun and you can’t go on so you Look for an answer in your head Take a look into your dilated pupils, Disappointed with the blackness inside Expectations of an answer within yourself and a Defective school of thought Older now than the innocence you crave, Still not tall enough to see mother's eyes Paralyzed by the sight of your aging hands As they hold tomorrow's end How can you tell what went wrong with the plans, You weren't watching the crash You've been carried too long and you can't understand How to walk on your own Train yourself to feel loved when there's no one to hold you By their side Keep away from the notion of being alone, It will never lose its strength Fill the void with anything you find, It's the only way to go You will always be hungry, even if you're full, Just trick yourself once again
2.
Fool 05:20
You're playing games but you haven't read the rules I'm playing along but I'm not in the mood Baby don't believe me when I'm acting cool I'm a fool for you but I just don't say it when I can I just don't say it when i can You've come much closer to spilling your heart And you act like you mean what I'm afraid to say I can think of the words when we're far apart The pressure is heavier when I see your eyes, your eyes Please don't stress yourself, I'm okay Only a little insane just like you Enough to get a long way without you Undress your ripening heart So I can see myself in your eyes Chasing the butterflies You can guess how close you are To conquering all that I am Don't want to scare you away But I'm selfish, I want you all to myself Let's not get high, it's what I do when i miss you Let's not get high, I'm right here we are right now Please don't stress yourself, I'm okay Only a little insane just like you Enough to get a long way without you Undress your ripening heart So I can see myself in your eyes Chasing the butterflies You can guess how close you are To conquering all that I am Let's not get high, it's what I do when i miss you Let's not get high, I'm right here we are right now Let's not get high, it's what I do when i miss you Let's not get high, I'm right here we are right now I'm right here we are right now I'm right here we are right now I'm right here we are right now
3.
I used to think you were somewhere that I couldn't find you But I was set to go to the ends of the world In search of something that I wasn't really ready to see I could have stayed away, left a blank spot on the map I would have been fine but I needed to know I can only blame myself And I didn't think it would hurt, I didn't think it would hurt Do you believe me now? Do you believe me now? Did I repeat myself enough for it to stick to you? So you believe me now I didn't listen to you, I didn't hear myself think You didn't have to go Once I found out, no doubt, it all makes sense It's just too much for me, it's just to much for me I believe you now I believe you now I didn't help me that you told me, I still went on my own But I believe you now I believe you now
4.
Someone Else 04:21
Break away from my line You await our time Free yourself from the hallway you walk Down as you tell everyone what you are You're someone else Dream of when you were young Stealing sweets, playing games with yourself No control, let it roll, no stopping now Blame it on what you were You're someone else I don't know who you are You're someone else Speaking lies through your hand No one else understands who you were Underneath your disguise, you're someone else Underneath your disguise, you're someone else
5.
Underneath 04:51
I am on the ground, holding you up You’re smiling down with the sun I am underneath every step I never let you touch the floor Oh, won’t you ever repay me You don’t have to repay me I’ll never tell you I’m the beast of burden Pulling us all along I am under your skin I am in your bones I am in every step you take I am underneath I am the inner voice, the one you fear I am the staring eyes when you’ve done wrong I will tell you how to be like me I won’t ask what you want I am this house, I am the food on your plate You’ve only ever known my walls You couldn’t do it yourself, you couldn’t do it yourself I’ll have to step in again I am under your skin I am in your bones I am in every step you take I am underneath
6.
Sheep 04:54
Bad people, cool people Bad motherfuckers can't heard the sheep Step in the beat Wait in line, single file, ignorant smile Till they chop you up, chop you up Keep your chin up, man They're gonna chop you down Put the little pieces in a tin can, serve it up Dog food in the news Fat cat's gotta eat Little people cryin out "give us a hero" You gotta vote for the man With your throat in your hand Put the blame on them because they got the money And the right to put you where you fit So far underneath that you don't even have an Impact on yourself No gateway outta hell, man You ain't got the time the games
7.
Head Down 05:13
Skyline is turning white It's cold out but colder inside So inhale the smoke And pretend you're having someone else's night Your bed is stiff, your pillow's a rock You want to relax and fall apart But you're drifting, drifting, drifting to sleep The surface is shifting as you sink underneath Keep your head down Wait out the storm in your head Drown or breathe underwater Keep your head down for me Patience is what you need You pick at the wound so you bleed Temperature drop as you turn back the clock And somebody smoked all your weed Everything's wrong but the words from a song You'd heard as a kid are bouncing around in your head Echoes of happiness haunting you still You're scared to move on but you know that you will Keep your head down Wait out the storm in your head Drown or breathe underwater Keep your head down for me
8.
Climb up, climb up, easy come down Crazy fast killer flash pulls you back to earth Believe, believe it now, the ghost is howling in the back of your head Just shiver now and bring it on, bring it on Too scared to listen to your own conversation Too many faces at once Too high to believe your satisfaction You know you can’t take it Smash your face in the ground, don’t care anymore Heavy eyes can drip into the back of your mind Realize the shadow arms are still wrapped around your neck This has all been in vain

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released July 5, 2012

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